5 Signs You are Too Self-Critical

5 Signs You are Too Self-Critical (& too undemanding of others)

Summary:
– it is double-edged despite achievement (stress, insecurity & self-doubt are downsides)
– it can be overt (things you may say to yourself, including out loud), but also covert (manifesting in the form of an eating disorder, social anxiety &/or depression)
– it can be so severe that self-compassion is compromised
– some helps, but too much is debilitating
– remedy – self-compassion (positive & caring attitude towards the self) – kindness is not the same as laziness or weakness – be a coach, a teacher, a therapist to yourself,
1) You are never content
– the positive is often discounted (or worse, ignored)
– the negative is maximised
– the positive is dismissed as luck
– you can feel like a failure or a loser, even when objectively your life is going well
– people use criticism as a motivator, but too much & it can backfire
– focusing on where we fall short can fixate a person on shortcomings (& demotivate them)
2) you feel constantly overwhelmed
– responsibility & reliability (conscientiousness) often accompanies self-criticism which can make a person feel things are never going well
– it can feel like being on a constant treadmill of obligations, duties & details to take care of & correct
– taking a break though can feel unnatural & make a person uneasy
3) You always feel guilty
– When mistakes occur, the person often feels bad for a long time
– This manifests in the form of rumination
– Further, when another person makes a mistake the person who is too self-critical often assumes responsibility for that person’s mistake
– if someone complains, we feel guilty for that & immediately assume we are responsible
4) you go it alone
– a person who is too self-critical does not ask others for help (because it means – to the person – that they are somehow weak or deficient – the link between the behaviour & thought is shame)
5) you are too humble
– Some self-deprecation is charming
– Too much self-deprecation is “cringe-worthy”
– we are concerned about being a fraud

Source: Savvy Psychologist | podcast date: 19 October 2018

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