Releasing Anger and Sadness and Moving Towards Emotional Freedom

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Releasing Anger and Sadness and Moving Towards Emotional Freedom

Summary:
– A lot of people struggle with anger
– A lot of people unfortunately grow up in a passive aggressive household
– A lot of adults today therefore have to deal with managing their anger as adults
– Interview with Dr Andrea Brandt (Therapist)
– She has written a book called: Mindful Anger
– She works with individuals and couples & group therapy (Age range: Thirties to sixties)
– discusses boundary work & how physical trials can be transferred cognitive (including the mind & the body)
– anger is one of the most common human emotions – it is as common as joy
– It is expressed on a continuum from annoyance to frustration to anger, rage, aggression & the expression of hostility
– Burying anger does not work – It is still alive and will show its head when you least expect it
– Covert anger is just as destructive as overt anger, & physical (headaches, insomnia) & emotional problems can occur

she says:
– Most people either grow up in environments of indulgence or deprivation/neglect
– Oftentimes feelings are not talked about
– Many – if not most – things are not expressed in a direct way
– Her own experience:
– She acted out
– She tried to get back at them (That is, her parents)
– Her childhood issues of anger surfaced once she became married
– Anger is often repressed
– assertiveness about how you feel (angry) can be useful [to release anger verbally]
– anger often feels powerful
– it can mask deeper sadness/ fear
– Anger also often feels scary
– mindfulness can be useful to notice the nervous system/stress response
– This takes a lot of courage – to face how you really feel
– Particularly given that society is often organised – or may seem to be organised – along the basis of the pleasure principle

She Recommends:
– writing about how you feel – I am feeling…
– find out what your triggers is/are
– find out who your triggers are
– telling someone about how you feel
– mindful breathing – autonomic & parasympathetic nervous system change (good way to relax, but also to free you up to work out how you feel)
– what’s going on in your body when you feel this about your father/mother [sensory-motor work][if tense, do you want to move]
– ground yourself to be present (to deal with wounds/trauma trigger)
– freedom & clarity comes from awareness – it is not their fault – everyone feels shame & anger – it is not a bad thing
– notice, name and neutralise anger
– trigger, impulse & then anger [it is about impulse management]
– mindful ways to notice what you are physically feeling & then manage this cognitively through increased awareness
– anger management also requires conflict resolution strategies

Source: Shrink on the Couch Podcast | 2 September 2015

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