6 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage? [Self-Defeating Behaviour or any action that gets in the way of you achieving your goals]

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6 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage? [Self-Defeating Behaviour or any action that gets in the way of you achieving your goals]

Summary:

Ways we self-sabotage:
1) procrastination
2) self-medication with AOD
3) stress-eating
4) inter-personal conflict
[they all seem small, but they are cumulative in their effect & impact self-esteem as well as physical health; however, in the moment, they may seem helpful; however,mover time they become reinforcing & difficult to reverse]

Reasons why we self-sabotage:
1) worth or lack of worth
– you feel like you do not deserve to be successful
– many strivers work hard to make up for a sense of inadequacy & paradoxically, when they achieve high standards, they metaphorically “shoot themselves in the foot”
– this is because of a psychological concept called “cognitive dissonance” (this is where actions & beliefs are inconsistent & often – again paradoxically – it feels worse to succeed than to fail
2) control (as an alternative to being out of control)
3) Perceived fraudulence
– as you gain more success, you feel you only have further to fall
– aka Imposter syndrome
– It manifests in many ways: Doing as little as possible and hoping nobody notices; or the other extreme push very hard and aim very high
– Feeling like a fake is a one way ticket to procrastination and getting distracted
4) familiarity
– People like to be consistent and often choose it over happiness
– ignored, exploited, rejected, abused – there can be recurring patterns in your life & they can be oddly comforting
5) a handy scapegoat
– If things do not work out we can blame the sabotage behaviours (&overlook he deeper issues)
– for e.g. Someone left me, because deep down I am unloveable
– for e.g. I did not start the paper until the last moment because I am incapable of understanding this stuff
6) sheer boredom
– & it provides an escape & a transitory sense of power

What is at the root of self-sabotage?
– a fear of failure (of trying one’s best & not succeeding & of being publicly humiliated as we potentially confront a very hard truth – that our best may not be good enough

Source: Savvy Psychologist podcast | 13 Jan 17

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