12 Tips for Parents

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12 Tips for Parents

Summary:
1) as a parent, you have to recognise all parents “screw-up” their children [idea of good-enough parenting] – parents make mistakes
2) parenting is an art-form – ere are many ways / it is not rigid & in addition your child is ever-changing
3) follow your heart – do not over think it – give love & connect with your child / mistake-repair (after correcting)
4) focus on the relationship – be there when they need you & encourage appropriate developmental independence (moving away from you) – attuned attachment (being there & recognising what is going on in their life) – pay attention & try to understand
5) recognise & heal from your own childhood emotional wounds (were you criticised by your parents when a child – were you ignored! – you will likely repeat these patterns) – helps you manage anxiety as a parent
6) takes news & Internet reports with “a grain of salt” – they are often wrong & are ultimately despair-inducing
7) seek professional help if you want / get expert advice without shame/judgment – they understand parenting is tough & that there is no silver bullet (friends can also be useful)
8) don’t over-emphasise school accomplishment rather than attachment, making good decisions, being able to socialise with others, do they have esteem, are they honest, can they regulate their emotions – remember not every kid can get an A – not everyone is motivated the same; nor do some people know how to get an A
9) let kids be kids – don’t burden them with adult things / expecting them to be adults too soon is harmful because it encourages parents to be critical / let kids play – encourage play because of all learning / slowly add responsibility which is developmentally appropriate
10) protect from bad things such as bullying & equip them to handle themselves – resilience / watch your own anxiety/paranoia
11) take care of yourself – diet, sleep, romance, exercise, hobby, work – women often feel they need to sacrifice their own well-being for their child / remember needs are endless / sometimes more is less – do not need to have every day planned for them/the children (they note parenting culture seems to be getting more & more intense all the time)
12) get support from friends / family

Source: Psychology in Seattle | podcast date: 23 February 2017

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