Relationships article [12 Feb 17]

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Relationships article [12 Feb 17]

Summary:
– apparently 7 out of 10 unhappy parents grit their teeth & persevere in their marriage, & 7 out of 10 report being happy 10 years later (3 of these report being extremely happy)
– the teeth gritting is particularly done by married couples with children
– apparently a child born today has a 50% chance of living with both parents by the age of 15 years, & in more than 90% of cases the parents will be married
– of those who divorce:
– post-menopausal women tend to be healthier with
– middle-aged men have health & social problems, including depression
– couples with relationship & sexual issues, often also have
– communication issues (not listening & unable to express what they want to)
– therapist cited in article – notes the following:
– monogamy leads to monotony
– affairs are destructive
– open marriages rarely suit both partners
– “the truth is it’s very hard to maintain any kind of romantic relationships”
– she also advocates couples maintaining separate bedrooms to keep sexual interest alive
– article contends that a lack of sexual interest is often symptomatic of other stress points in a relationship
– four stages are identified as being particular times of relationship stress:
1) early stage – working out how to create a relationship
2) arrival of children & division of labour, exacerbated by lack of sleep & exhaustion
3) when children reach adolescence which coincides with 1 or both parents reaching their career ceiling – the breadwinner can feel stuck & under-appreciated
4) when children leave home – noting that by general consent, we are living in a child-focused age, with a great deal of parental engagement & involvement than which previously occurred
– the article also notes that pragmatic, material concerns also have a role to play in couples saying together
– in addition, people more readily access relationship counselling, where couples learn that relationships go through ebbs & flows, & that if things are to work out, they must adapt to
– most learn that they also have 2 or 3 significant relationships in their lives, often with the same person

Statistics:
– the average marriage is expected to last 32 years
– 60% of marriages reach their 20th anniversary
– 16% of marriages reach the 60th anniversary
– the mean age of marriage is 36.7 years (men) & 34.3 years (women)
– office for National Statistics [Britain]

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/12/marriage-week-what-makes-a-relationship-work

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