That’s right: the quality of love in your relationship is determined in the daily grind, not on that all-inclusive Mexican vacay.
Here are three daily habits that can make your marriage last forever.
1. Do Little and Thoughtful Kind Things for Each Other
When I think about it, I do feel a strong sense of being loved when my husband does the simplest things for me, like when he fixes my plate for dinner or texts me during the day to see how I am. Or when he does little things to help me as a mom. Almost every morning Kyle brings the baby to me with a clean diaper. That’s love, my friend.
2. Make Time to Say Yes to Each Other Every Single Day
Time is the enemy for busy couples. But time spent in positive interactions with your spouse is non-negotiable. As Dr. Gottman writes, “a husband and wife are continually making bids for each other’s attention—introducing a conversation topic, implicitly asking a favor, etc.—and the most successful couples are the ones who continually ‘turn toward’ their partners.” They say yes to each other’s requests for attention, interaction, and well, love, I suppose. These everyday interactions serve to build up a bank of love and trust, Dr. Gottman says.
3. Establish Relationship Rituals
There is something powerful in creating the “just us” element in a relationship. As couples therapist Zach Brittle writes, rituals are a way to ensure that your relationship is unique. Rituals are regularly occurring activities or traditions that you share as a couple, which serve to strengthen your bond.