Sibling Rivalry

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Sibling Rivalry

Summary:
– some conflict is normal & part of learning how to get long (how to be fair, respect others & resolve differences)
– children may fight about gaining their parents’ love, or out of jealousy (if they perceive you have more time for another or treat another sibling better), or as a way to gain their parents’ attention
– children may fight if they feel hurt, angry or unfairly treated
– temperament can also be a factor, as can maturity & a need for social skills regarding how to get along with others

What to do?
– parents model conflict resolution skills
– parents need to set family rules/expectations:
– arguments without hurting/disrespecting others
[clear, simple rules – we take turns; we do not hit people; we are kind; we say sorry]
[include children in setting rules; keep rules prominent; agree on consequences for violation]
– making sure each child feels equally loved & valued
[equal time while recognising different interests]
– establish household routines
[meals, chores; TV use]
– use lots of praise when things are resolved well & for kindness
– family games
– family time together
– keep an eye on fights so you know how they start
– avoid rescuing; blame; picking on one; taking sides
– avoid stepping in
– be aware of your own feelings & stay calm
– separate children | have them separate
– remind children of rules & consequences
– avoid saying you should know better
– avoid calling one a troublemaker
– avoid saying one child behaved better than another
– encourage discussion of feelings when calm
– encourage all to have a say,
– ensure all are heard/respected by you as the parent
– family meetings often work for older children
– remember too much attention on fighting may also encourage more /” reinforce” fighting

Source: ParentLink

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