Children are Bored Out of their Skulls (& would rather be on social media &/or gaming) & Tips for Angry Parents or Understanding Ager in Parents [article]

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Children are Bored Out of their Skulls (& would rather be on social media &/or gaming) & Tips for Angry Parents or Understanding Ager in Parents [article]

Summary:
– parents are angry at child/adolescent because of their behaviour
– such parents are not confined to a particular “class” or socio-economic demographic
– parents can often feel like failures
– the concept of angry parents is a social taboo
– the biggest cause of anger? a child’s lack of cooperation
– social media, games & apps are a distraction for kids from being present
– a person, once they become a parent enters into a complex relationship with their partner, their peers, & themselves (in particular their own past – in particular how they themselves were brought up – living up to or over-compensating for past inadequacies)
– feelings of self-perceived parenting competence can change over the child’s lifespan
– he notes importantly that people who get angry often “care too much” – they are just sensitive & frustrated

Tips for parents:
1) acknowledge you are feeling angry, scared or vulnerable; communicate this to the child/adolescent – it is done under emotional control (rather than shaming or blaming the child/adolescent, or “projecting” our own stresses onto the child); is forthright & is called “clean anger” by the author
2) if you do get angry – acknowledge & apologise; discuss what happened & explore why it happened
3) listen to the child/adolescent; acknowledge you do not always know better; perhaps they have a point; perhaps they do not need to do what you want immediately
4) use an anger journal – it is a way of reviewing anger & responding more effectively to it without the rupture in a relationship when it does occur
5) reach out for support – friends, family, professionals

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/sep/03/why-parents-are-getting-angrier-children-are-bored-out-of-their-skulls-with-real-life

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