g. parents and the growth mindset

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g.

parents and the growth mindset

  • Every word and action from a parent to a child/adolescent sends a message
  • As an experiment, listen to what you say and “tune in” to the message you are sending. Are they messages that say to the child/adolescent:
    • You have permanent traits and I am judging them (negatively and/or positively)
    • You are a developing person and I am interested in your development.
  • Now, how do you use praise? Remember, praising intelligence or talent sends a fixed mindset message.
    • Instead – focus upon processes – strategies, effort, choices
    • Practice integrating the growth mindset praise strategies into your interactions with your child/adolescent
  • Learn from your interactions – watch, listen and reflect upon your interactions when your child makes a mistake. Remember: constructive criticism is feedback that assists the child/adolescent to understand how to fix something. This is different to feedback which labels the child, or excuses the child for the mistake.
    • At the end of each day, review the constructive criticism you gave to your child/adolescent (either with your partner or by yourself in a journal for example) and approach from a growth/learning mindset yourself so that you improve, become an even better parent and maintain motivation to keep improving your communication with your child/adolescent.
  • Parents often set goals for their children/adolescents to work towards.
    • Remember, innate talent is not a goal. Expanding knowledge and skills is.
    • Lowering standards should also be watched for as this does not raise self-esteem, but neither does raising standards with no way of attaining them (break into steps and plan). Provide feedback on their process of achieving them.
  • Ask yourself:
    • Do you honestly believe your child/adolescent will never be able to learn well?
    • Do they think of themselves as permanently dumb?
    • Are you a fixed mindset parent?
    • Are you intolerant of mistakes yourself?
    • Do you try to motivate your child/adolescent through judgment? [Instead give them respect and the “coaching” they need]
    • Instead work with them to try and figure out:
      • what they do not understand
      • what learning strategies they do not have.
      • [Remember to remind yourself about the growth mindset and the process of learning.]
      • Ask them to give their full commitment and their full effort

Source: (Dweck, 2012)

 

 

Mark Taylor | Registered Psychologist | Canberra ACT | 0467 087 300

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