self-control

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self-control

How are you sabotaging your self-control
– goals (values-based)
– motivation to change?
– thoughts/feelings take time to change, but behaviour can change immediately (it is about deciding whether it is “can’t” or “won’t”
– are there you excuses you make for yourself,mso to speak, to let yourself off-the hook
– is there a history of control & then lack of control

Thought Suppression:
– commonly-used, but often a 2-edged sword
– dieters – block out thoughts of food/snacks
– drinkers – same, but alcohol
– stressed workers – block/ignore feelings of anxiety
– smokers – next cigarette
– block-out/ignore unwanted thoughts & feelings – actively try to forget without looking at urges & working out ways to sit with urges
– works in short-term, but often come back more frequently (& with greater force) & in the longer-term are counter-productive/harmful – that is:
– leading to more of the very behaviour you are trying to stop/reduce
– suppression requires great will-power & when nsuccessful, sets up vicious cycles which can act to reduce willpower

Instead:
– don’t suppress, replace (with thoughts which are in line with your goals/values)
– [have strategies about what to do when you have their support]
– don’t suppress, plan
– if, then… Contingency-planning
– what you will do to not act upon them
(I.e. plan ahead, in accordance with your goals)
– have alternate actions, to break the connection between thoughts / feelings & then acting (without thought & not in accordance with goals) &/or giving in to temptation [part of breaking habits & will take time/practice – don’t forget to use rewards]

Your inner voice: A key to self-control [article]
– pause & call upon your inner voice to aid self-control & resist temptation
[Research supports it – aide memoire]

Don’t Delay – Why are you so impulsive? [article]
– procrastination often associated with impulsivity & an inability to self-regulate
Need to:
– initiate action – “get on with it”; “make something happen”
– maintain goal-directed behaviour (in accordance with values) without delay or being directed
[rather than endlessly ruminating/ being ore-occupied (as if this is somehow taking action) assessing the situation, & comparing oneself to others]
[Research: negative self-appraisal depletes self-control & subsequently leads to impulsivity]
[once impulsivity is acted upon, it leads to negative self-appraisal & recriminations which can begin a vicious cycle that undermines moving in a valued direction; worse, it can lead to regret, shame, self-esteem & depression issues]

Meta-cognition: thinking about thinking
Executive function: key to self-regulation

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